


Bright Lights in Dark Times

by noodlerdoodler



Series: Drabbles for Davekatweek [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Its kind of an entire AU, Karkat and Dave are dumb Internet boyfriends, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Peaceful/violent protest, Riots, Signless is a revolution leader, Trolls are heavily oppressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 11:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4704818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a society where trolls are heavily oppressed, Karkat feels like he can't tell his Internet friend Dave what his life is really like. </p>
<p>Day Three: Red Romance</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bright Lights in Dark Times

**Author's Note:**

> This story got so out of hand; forgive me, for I have sinned.

Everyday when he got home from his school, (it was a bad school, one of the schools that had been built specifically to educate trolls. And whilst the troll teachers were great, they didn't have half the resources that normal schools had. Karkat wished he was smart or rich enough to transfer to an integrated school like his friends, Feferi and then Gamzee had but his family just couldn't afford it), Karkat waited for his friend to come online so that he could talk to him.

It had been a long time ago that Karkat had met his friend on a forum, some gaming forum that Sollux had signed him up for. Actually, it hadn't started as a friendship. In the beginning, Karkat had harboured a hatred towards this "turntechGodhead" and had flamed on every single one of his posts, leaving insults about how idiotic this guy was. In return, the guy started trolling him with old memes and yo mama jokes and before long, they were messaging each other every single day to argue. Eventually, both of them got banned from the forum for inappropriate behaviour and switched Pesterchums instead.

They were past their flaming/memeing days now but they were still in contact. Every single night, Karkat would rush home to see if turntechGodhead- Dave, he said his name was, Dave- was online. More often than not, he wasn't on right away and that would leave Karkat twiddling his thumbs and waiting for him. Sometimes, he would open another tab and watch one of his romantic-comedies to pass the time. But he couldn't stop himself from constantly checking back to see if Dave was online yet. He'd get up, go have dinner, and more often than not, Dave would finally be online.

Of course, there were some days that he didn't come online at all because- unlike Karkat- Dave actually seemed to have some sort of social life. He was always talking about going out strifing and spending time with his other online friends Rose and John and Jade. He hated school, just like Karkat, but the human school day was a lot longer than the troll ones so he was there a lot longer. Karkat's school couldn't afford to stay open any longer than from nine in the morning till two in the afternoon.

Today was one of the days that Dave surprised him by being online already by the time he got home and as soon as Karkat had loaded Pesterchum up, Dave shot him a message. Either he was dying of boredom or he had something important to tell him because Dave was rarely this quick to contact him.

turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo  
TG: hey cg  
TG: whats up  
CG: I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT  
CG: SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT SCHOOL?  
CG: DID THEY KICK YOU OUT FOR BEING AN IGNORANT SACK OF SHIT?  
TG: yes this morning they just randomly looked at me and were like "wow, you suck ass" and they kicked me out for that very legal reason  
TG: haha no  
CG: I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY  
CG: YOU'RE KIND OF STUPID  
TG: wow thanks  
TG: you know cg you really know how to woo a man  
TG: i bet you pull these romantic lines out at parties and everyone swoons  
TG: "ooh, ooh mr. cg take me now"  
CG: YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  
CG: I AM A REAL WOMANISER, DAVE  
TG: and a maniser?  
CG: THAT'S NOT A THING  
TG: it should be  
TG: im totally a maniser  
TG: all the men fall at my feet  
TG: you do too, you're probably drooling over your computer screen  
CG: JESUS FUCK I'M NOT PYROPE  
TG: oh my god i forgot about tz  
CG: YOU DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE?  
TG: not since she started acting weird  
CG: ????  
TG: ?????????  
TG: that was meaning questioning your question marks  
CG: YOU FUCKING IDIOT  
CG: I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU MEANING ACTING WEIRD?  
TG: well you know how she's like a troll and all  
TG: she started going on about rights and shit  
TG: something about her not being able to get into law school  
TG: man i get that society is hard on trolls  
TG: but she must have known that they wouldn't accept her?  
TG: why did she even bother applying?  
CG: I THINK SHE WAS HOPING THEY WOULD MAKE AN EXCEPTION  
CG: HER MOM'S A LAWYER, YOU KNOW  
TG: she is?  
CG: YEAH. REDGLARE PYROPE IS SOME BIG LEGISLATOR  
TG: oh cool  
TG: it sucks they wouldnt let terezi apply because of her race  
CG: I FEEL SO BAD FOR TROLLS SOMETIMES  
TG: yeah me too  
TG: i feel kinda bad about being human when i see them struggling  
TG: but at the same time  
TG: i'm glad i'm not a troll, you know?  
TG: i'm glad im human  
CG: YEAH ME TOO  
TG: does it make us bad people to think like that?  
CG: NO I DON'T THINK SO  
CG: I MEAN, SPEAKING POLITICALLY AND SOCIALLY HUMANS DO HAVE A GREAT ADVANTAGE OVER TROLLS  
CG: AND AS A HUMAN, I'M GLAD ABOUT THAT  
CG: BUT I DON'T THINK TROLLS WOULD BE OFFENDED THAT I LIKE BEING A HUMAN  
CG: YOU KNOW?  
TG: not really  
TG: so anyways politics aside  
TG: how was your day?  
CG: FINE MOM  
TG: ooh momma dave's in the house  
TG: hold on honey lemme bag you a lunch and put you on a bus  
CG: DO YOU THINK MOMS REALLY DO THAT?  
TG: fuck if i know  
TG: bro barely acknowledges my existence  
CG: DAD ACKNOWLEDGES MINE FAR TOO MUCH  
CG: HE'S THE KIND OF PERSON THAT LEANS OVER YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOING HOMEWORK AND *SUBTLY* HINTS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID WRONG UNTIL YOU CORRECT IT  
TG: sounds like you had a bad day then  
CG: HOW COULD YOU TELL?  
TG: because you only complain about your dad on the bad days  
CG: YEAH IT WAS A BAD DAY  
CG: MY DAD WOULDN'T STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT SCHOOL AND COLLEGE AND SHIT LIKE THAT  
TG: what do you think about college?  
TG: i mean are you gonna go?  
CG: I THINK SO  
CG: l DON'T WANT TO TAKE UP THE "FAMILY BUSINESS" SO I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WORK EXTRA HARD TO GET A REAL JOB  
TG: i was thinking id skip school and go straight to work  
TG: i could be a prostitute  
TG: or work a sex line  
TG: call dave for fun times  
CG: ARE YOU IMPLYING THOSE ARE THE ONLY JOBS YOU QUALIFY FOR?  
TG: im very attractive and possess a very sexy voice  
TG: speaking of which, do you want to video call today?  
CG: WEBCAM STILL BROKEN.  
TG: its been six months  
CG: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT  
TG: hey cg  
CG: OH FUCK, I HAVE TO GO REAL QUICK  
TG: ???  
CG: DINNER  
CG: I'LL BE BACK  
CG: DAD IS OBSESSED WITH EATING TOGETHER AS A ~FAMILY~ UGH  
CG: SEE YOU DAVE  
TG: good luck honey  
CG: FUCK OFF

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

With a loud sigh of relief, Karkat pushed away from desk and spun around on his chair. He pressed his hands to his temples, rubbing them to get rid of the brief headache he'd gotten from staring at the bright screen. Bright light for any amount of time is pretty bad for troll eyes, which are adapted to darkness, since they are traditionally nocturnal. It might also be because he hasn't slept in around, uh, two sweeps and lack of sleep takes it's toll on him. Taking it's toll meaning that he's permanently exhausted, grouchy, and feeling slight nauseous or sore.

He supposes that one day, he's going to have to explain to Dave that he's been lying to him constantly for months- but not today. He's had such a long day and he isn't in the mood to tell his friend that not only did he lie to him about his webcam- it works perfectly- but also his goddamn race. When he signed up for those dumb forums all that time ago with Sollux at his side egging him on, he ticked the box that read HUMAN instead of the one that read TROLL. Trolls are frowned upon in this society and he didn't want to receive buckets of hate just because he had grey skin and horns. His race shouldn't mean anything- his dad always taught him that both humans and trolls should put aside their differences and live together in peace.

Obviously, Karkat had forgotten all about his race being shown on his profile and it wasn't until he started arguing with Dave about rights that he realised that Dave thought he was a human. Somehow, the feeling that being human would put him on the same level as this cool kid made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The idea that somebody was treating him like a competent being instead of an idiot that couldn't even read- he could read, just for the record, but plenty of anti-trolls reckoned that people like him were too stupid to be able to read- made him feel strangely happy. He always intended to tell Dave about his true race but things had spiralled and now he was full on lying about nearly everything just to impress this guy.

His good friend, Terezi Pyrope, had a strange fascination with humans and a long time ago, when she'd found out that he knew a human- "4 HUM4N M4T3SPR1T H3H3H3"- she'd immediately asked for some way of contacting him. Karkat had told her that as long as she kept his true identity a secret, it was cool and handed over Dave's Pesterchum. At first, he watched over her shoulder as she typed just to make sure that she didn't slip up. Eventually, he began to trust that she wouldn't tell Dave anything.

One thing that Terezi did tell Dave, however, was that _she_ was a troll. He'd been a little bit uncertain at first but he'd grown used to her- which gave Karkat some hope that he would accept him some day- though he did call her crazy. Pyrope was crazy; she was a justice-obsessed, constantly scribbling, candy crazy tealblood. When he was younger, Karkat had harboured a small crush on her but he'd eventually grown out of it. He'd liked nearly all of his friends at some point or another, so he didn't think much of it.

Recently, Terezi had crumpled when she'd try to apply to some prestigious law school only to be rejected because "TH3Y D1DNT TH1NK 4 TROLL WOULD M4TCH TH31R ST4ND4RDS >:[". Since then, she'd been on some sort of crazy spree of fighting for equal rights for trolls, which Karkat found a little annoying- he'd given up on rights a while ago- but he put up with. It was something that he was used to, since both his father and his brother were rights activists too. His father spoke about it publicly, Kankri blogged about it and Terezi attended all the protests. Meanwhile, Karkat hid away in his room and flirted with a human over Pesterchum.

He'd been lying about his father calling him for dinner when he'd spoken to Dave but it didn't take too long before he actually was calling. Karkat's dad- The Signless, as he was known by his followers- was rather predictable and insisted on the whole family sitting down at the table for breakfast and dinner. Today was no exception and Karkat got up, closing his Pesterchum browser before heading downstairs. He didn't want to imagine Kankri's reaction if he found out that Karkat was talking to Dave. He flip his shit, to say the very least.

As usual, dinner itself was rather dismal looking but his dad made up for it with his bright  and enthusiastic talking. On the downside, Kankri insisted on arguing with him whenever he brought up "problematic subjects". Karkat just tried to block his brother's voice out. They weren't really brothers, technically speaking, but that was the term humans used for two boys sharing a father so they rolled with the wagon, so to speak. When trolls are young, they are usually adopted by trolls of the same blood colour. Signless adopted them both and was quick to teach them not to judge people by their race.

"Back in the old days." He would say, "People like to judge people by their blood colours. People like you two, people like me, we would have been outcasts within our own race then. It sounds silly, doesn't it? I see you laughing, Karkat. If it's stupid to judge people by blood colour, then it's stupid to judge them by race too. Don't you think?" There would be eager nodding from both young trolls.

But as they grew older, whilst Kankri took on their father's love of politics and equality, Karkat had simply given up. He knew rights were a long way coming- so far in the future that he couldn't even comprehend it- and what exactly was he supposed to do about it? He had no power. So, he just adjusted to the fact that he got stared at in the street and that people poked names at him and people wouldn't accept him all because he was grey with nubby horns poking out of his dark hair. That was why he hadn't told Dave his real race because he was afraid that he would be judged. That Dave would stop talking to him if he did. And now, he was in too deep to change things around.

"Aren't you going to finish your dinner, Karkat?" His dad asked, as Karkat stood up suddenly and took his plate to the kitchen counter.

"No, I've lost my appetite. Sorry, Dad."

"It's okay, Karkat. As long as you're feeling alright."

"I just feel socially at a disadvantage." This proves to be the correct answer because his dad nods at him and begins another one of his discussions about rights. Karkat takes this as an opportunity to slip away and head back upstairs to where he hopes Dave is still waiting for him. As soon as he sees the small dot next to his name indicating that he's online, something inside Karkat does several backflips with delight and he quickly opens up another chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
CG: FUCK, I'M SORRY, DAVE  
TG: its cool dude  
TG: hey have you see the new will smith movie?  
CG: YOU BET YOUR ASS I HAVE.

And they continue chatting well into the night, only ever to pausing briefly once so that Dave could go and get something to eat. Neither of them mentions politics, trolls, and it's one of those long nights when Karkat feels like everything is perfect. He loves the long nights that they spend together, even if it is only via message.

* * *

TG: i still don't get why you watch so many rom-coms, cg

CG: BECAUSE I ENJOY THEM  
TG: but why?  
TG: they're for girls  
CG: WAY TO GENDER TYPE  
CG: IT'S A MOVIE  
TG: oh yeah good point  
TG: that was dumb  
TG: you know that every time you mention rom-coms  
TG: i just picture you hunched over a laptop and wrapped in blankets  
TG: all cute like  
CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE?  
TG: smol  
CG: THAT'S IT?  
CG: "SMOL"  
CG: THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL WORD  
TG: okay okay im thinking  
TG: probably quite dark haired  
TG: and im thinking green eyes?  
TG: am i right yo?  
CG: LET'S GO WITH MAYBE  
TG: c'mon  
TG: i'll tell you what i look like  
CG: GO AHEAD  
TG: im like tall  
CG: LIKE?  
TG: im tall  
TG: thanks asshole  
TG: blonde  
TG: gorgeous  
TG: think will smith meets the guy from titanic  
CG: YOU MEAN LEONARDO DICAPRIO?  
TG: thats the one  
CG: YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE LEONARDO  
TG: did i mention my rock hard abs  
CG: STOP FUCKING WITH ME  
TG: you like it  
TG: you like fucking with me  
TG: as roxy would say "wink wonk"  
CG: FUCK OFF  
TG: so what do you look like  
TG: cg?  
TG: did you go?  
CG: SORRY, DAD'S CALLING

carcinoGeneticist [CG] went offline!

* * *

Over the next few months, Dave only asks him once or twice if he wants to video call him but Karkat rebuffs him with excuses about his webcam being broken each time. When Dave suggests that he uses his brother's computer, Karkat just laughs and tells him that his brother won't so much as let him breathe in his direction, let alone borrow his computer. Not to mention that Kankri is always busy nowadays, working hard to prove to anti-troll groups that trolls are just as intelligent and friendly as humans and that they shouldn't be oppressed just because they look a little different. Karkat doesn't mention the last part to Dave, of course. As far as Dave is concerned, Karkat's entire family are humans that just happen to live in the poorer part of town where predominantly trolls reside.

Despite his clever lies, Karkat thinks that his friend might not entirely believe him. It took Dave whole weeks to coax Karkat's name out of him but he eventually managed- 'are you kidding me? karkat? like beep beep meow?' 'SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSHOLE, I HEAR IT EVERYDAY FROM CAPTOR ALREADY'- and he's scared that he'll find out his race the same way. By constantly begging to know more about Karkat's life and wanting to know why he was so reluctant to tell him anything. Karkat reasoned that he shouldn't spill personal information to a total fucking stranger on the Internet and that made Dave back off for a while at least. Karkat was beginning to get nervous that his identity wouldn't stay secret very long.

And then came the big day for his dad and his followers- it was obvious that they were his followers because they all wore the '69' symbol associated with Karkat's dad. The '6' is bright red and the '9' is grey. It's apparently meant to symbolise that humans and trolls should harmonise but Karkat can't take it seriously because it just reminds him of some internet porn he stumbled across once- when a massive peace protest was held in town. Karkat didn't go but he did watch on the crappy old television that belonged to the Captors as the peaceful protest quickly turned to violence as the police got involved. All he could do was sit and wince as people he knew- his friends and family!- were smacked to the ground and bleeding. It filled him with rage.

"Dude, my dad'th out there." Sollux said, watching in horror, "My dad! My brother'th out there! Fuck, what if they get themthelveth killed?"

"My dad's leading the protest, how do you think I feel?" Karkat had to swallow hard to stop his voice shaking, "My brother is probably screaming his social justice bullshit at people. Captor, my family are screwed out there."

"Thith ith fucking terrifying. Why can't people jutht accept uth and quite the bullthit before people get hurt?" As Sollux spoke, a close up shot of some poor olive blood on the ground being kicked hard by the anti-troll protesters that were there, "Before anyone elthe getth hurt." He corrects himself hastily.

The rest of the news coverage they watch in silence, waiting for news of their respective families, and Karkat finds himself thumbing the symbol that hangs around his neck. When Signless had adopted him, he'd given it to it as he'd told him about how trolls needed to live in peace with humans. As he told Karkat that, one day, the world was going to change for the better. Karkat had worn it every day since then, year after year, but now he wondered if it was a good idea. His friend seemed to read his mind.

"Hey, KK. You might wanna take that thing off." Sollux suggests, glancing sideways at him, "It probably labelth you ath a target or thomething. You're probably gonna get hurt if you go outthide with that thing on."

"Yeah, I know." Karkat fumbles with it a moment longer, thinking about how his dad had promised that things would get better; he had known that was bullshit all along, "Help me take it off, Captor?"

"Thure." Normally, both of them would be snarking at each other, making rude comments, scowling, pointing out what losers both of them were but today they're united as they wait for their dads come home. Hope for their dads to come home. Karkat supposes that today, every single troll is united, as he watches people of his race being beaten half to death. He's waiting for them to announce the casualties, to tell them if his family's okay. He prays to god- if there is such thing as a god- that things turn out okay. Please turn out okay.

"I got it." Sollux drops the stupid piece of jewellery onto his lap and Karkat shoves it in his pocket, where he hopes to forget about it. His dad will notice that he isn't wearing it but he'll probably understand, especially if Karkat explains. As much as his dad cares about his cause, Karkat knows that he'll put him first. He always does and it's reassuring. He knows Signless will do his best to protect him from this mess. And to protect Kankri. He just hopes that his dad remembers to protect himself as well.

"HOLY THHIT, ITH THAT TEREZI?" Sollux yelling breaks him from his thoughts.

"WHAT?" Karkat's eyes flick back to the screen, where a familiar teal blood is lying covered in her own blood. There are medics at her side, at least, trying to help her. The blood seems to be predominantly on her face.

"Oh god, Terezi." Sollux groans, "Why did they have to get Terezi?"

"Why do they have to hate us so much? What did we even do to them?"

"We were born, remember?"

"Oh, god, I hate them so much sometimes."

Eventually, the phone call comes from Mr Captor- the Psiioniic- to inform them that everybody is alive. The Vantases and the Captors both pulled through. But when Sollux asked if alive meant okay, the Psiioniic had just mumbled something and told them that he was coming home to pick both of them up. Then, they would be heading to the hospital to see Mituna and Terezi. Both of them had been badly hurt. At this, Sollux inhaled sharply and Karkat didn't think he breathed again until they finally got to the hospital and he rushed in to see his older brother. Apparently, something had gone horribly wrong with Mituna's psionics and "well, he'th jutht not going to be the thame again".

Once Sollux comes out of the room again, back to the lobby where Karkat has been forced to wait for his family, he's actually in tears and sobbing furiously. Now, Sollux has been Karkat's best friend ever since they were wrigglers and Sollux tried to steal Karkat's toy and Karkat hissed at him and Sollux shot sparks back. All the way through kindergarten, through middle school, through high school up until where they were now. They'd been friends all that time but never once had Karkat seen his best friend cry like this.

He'd seen him angry whenever they were gaming and Karkat did something stupid to make him scream at him. He'd seen him frustrated almost daily, whenever his codes wouldn't work properly or whenever he'd worked himself too hard and yelled at anybody that dared to look at him. He'd seen him lovesick, drooling over Aradia and then Feferi and then Eridan, one right after the other. He'd seen him cry when they were much younger and he'd fallen off a climbing frame and broken his left arm. He'd seen him cry when Aradia broke up with him and when Feferi had moved away. He'd seen him cry. He'd never seen him cry like he was crying now; crying harder and harder like it was impossible for him to stop.

By the time Karkat had comforted him properly, his entire shirt was stained yellow with his best friend's tears. Only then had Sollux managed to choke out an explanation: Mituna had been badly, badly brain damaged. He'd been attacked and his psionics had freaked, exploding and burning him out. His brain had basically been fried beyond repair and now, his brother, his brother that he loved and admired and hung out with was sitting in there colouring and talking in what was basically a nonsense language. Once Sollux had got that all out, he started crying again but quieter this time. Karkat gently papped him until he fell quiet.

As for Terezi, she had been blinded but she was otherwise okay and quite cheerful when they went in to see her. She was grinning at them and told them that she didn't mind being blind because now, she was just like her mom. Apparently, her mom was going to teach her how to use a cane and how to get around without her eyes and Terezi was pumped about it. She was still grinning when they left, waving at them and cackling loudly. When they returned to the lobby, both Signless and Kankri were waiting there for them. Karkat had never been so happy to see his family in his entire life.

His dad pulled him into a tight hug and then, lifted him up like he was no more than a wriggler. Normally, this was something that would bother Karkat but right now, he was just so glad that his family was alright. Once his dad had hugged all the breath out of him and put him down, Karkat embraced his brother and ignored his protests as he hugged him tightly and papped his scratched cheek. Papping is normally only used in pale relationships but it's not uncommon to see it in families because families are normally quite pale for each other without it being a proper relationship. Platonically pale. Kankri was still muttering protests in his ear as he all but went limp in his younger brother's arms.

"I was so scared that you were going to get hurt. You're both such idiots." Karkat sniffled, as he drew back to look at them. Scratches and bruises aside, they had both gotten out unscathed and he felt incredibly glad about it.

"It's nice to hear that you have confidence in us." Signless rolled his eyes, "Come on, boys, let's go home and get you both to bed. It's late and I'm sure we're all tired."

"But dad-!" Unfortunately, their dad wouldn't hear any protests and he bundled Karkat up in his arms and carried him all the way home. Kankri just held tightly onto his dad's arm and stayed close to him as they walk. No matter what his dad said, it was clear that they were still in danger whilst they were out in the streets at night like this.

"What happened to your necklace?" Signless poked at Karkat's chest where the symbol was normally hanging.

"I... I didn't feel safe wearing it."

"I see." Karkat could see the disappointment but understanding in his dad's eyes and it made him feel guilty for removing it in the first place. He slipped his hand into the pocket and squeezed the necklace tightly to remember that he still had it with him. He was still a proper Vantas. He pressed his face into his dad's shoulder.

"Go straight to bed, Karkat." His dad says, when they finally get home and he puts Karkat down in the hall. Finally, Karkat feels like he can breathe but he stills feels strangely empty as he heads upstairs to his room. He isn't expecting for Dave to be online anyway; it's much later than they usually talk and he thought his friend would have just assumed he was busy for once in his life. Instead, he finds an array of concerned messages. The first of which isn't even from Dave.

grimAuxilatrix [GA] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Karkat I Saw That Your Father Was Leading A Protest Out In Town And I Wondered If You Were With Him  
GA: Can You Please Message Me When You Get Home Safely?  
GA: I Am Rather Concerned About Your Well-Being  
GA: Please Will You Message Me?  
GA: Thank You In Advance  
GA: I Hope You Are Okay

grimAuxilatrix [GA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Rather quickly, he returns Kanaya's messages and assures her that he's perfectly fine and as is his family. However, if she is still prepared to comfort somebody, perhaps she should message Sollux or Terezi? Both of them are in a rather bad disposition and would probably welcome some platonic affection.

Then, Karkat dares to open his messages from Dave.

turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: hey karkat i just wanted to check up on you  
TG: to see if you were okay and shit  
TG: i saw that there was a huge protest in your city  
TG: the troll protest i mean  
TG: and i was worried that you might have gotten hurt  
TG: karkat please im scared please tell me youre there  
TG: im not going to go away until you tell me youre okay  
TG: did one of the trolls hurt you?  
TG: bro says they can be really vicious  
TG: im not sure whether that's true or not  
TG: but they are pretty scary looking fuckers  
TG: don't tell terezi that i said that  
TG: actually she'd probably just take it as a compliment  
TG: trolls are weird

Looking over the messages, Karkat finds himself feeling really, really sick and not in the usual excited stomach flip-flopping way. He feels sick like he wants to vomit and see if he can force the words he just read out of him and into the load gaper instead. He wants to flush those words away and make them not exist. He doesn't want them to be real. He wants to be hallucinating or reading wrong or something, anything. He moves away from his desk and clutches his stomach, breathing heavily, as all his insides seem to twist and squirm in discomfort.

TG: karkat i know youre online  
TG: i can see the little green light next to your name  
TG: are you okay??  
TG: karkat  
TG: karkat please  
TG: youre scaring me  
TG: please tell me youre okay  
TG: karkat please answer me im scared  
TG: im not fucking around here are you hurt?  
TG: should i call an ambulance?  
TG: please don't die  
TG: i love you 

Should he answer? Once he answers, he'll almost certainly have to pull through and have an entire conversation. He doesn't want to have to explain to Dave that trolls aren't violent, trolls weren't even fighting back during the protest. He wants to tell Dave that it was a peaceful protest by his dad, who would never hurt a fly. His dad would rather die than hurt anybody. He wants to tell Dave that his best friend's brother has had his brain damaged beyond repair, that one of his friends is blinded. He wants to tell Dave that he spent the entire day wondering if his dad was dead, if his brother was hurt, if anybody was going to come home to him. Because of humans. God, he hates them. He hates humans so much.

CG: TROLLS WOULD NEVER HURT A HUMAN, YOU IDIOT. IT'S STUPID HUMANS FUCKING EVERYTHING UP.

carcinoGeneticist has gone offline!

* * *

 

TG: karkat

TG: please talk to me  
TG: what did i say?  
TG: fuck i just wanted to make sure you were okay  
TG: oh shit  
TG: are you hurt?  
TG: did you get hurt?  
TG: oh god im going to message terezi  
TG: fuck hold on

turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]  
TG: hey tz  
GC: OH H3Y COOLK1D  
GC: 1 DR3W 4 P1CTUR3 FOR YOU  
GC: W4NN4 S33?  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3 >:]  
TG: sure  
TG: make it quick

gallowsCalibrator [GC] sent turntechGodhead [TG] h3yd4v31sth1syou.jpeg

TG: nice  
TG: i swear your art is getting worse  
GC: TH4NK YOU  
TG: no not ironically bad, just bad  
GC: S1GH  
TG: really?  
GC: MOR3 S1GH1NG  
GC: Y3S R34LLY  
GC: 1 W1LL TYP3 OUT 4LL MY S1GHS FOR YOU  
GC: 4NYW4Y WH4T D1D YOU W4NT D4V3?  
GC: YOU H4V3NT SPOK3N TO M3 1N FOR3V3R  
TG: oh yeah  
TG: i wanted to know if karkat was okay  
GC: H3S F1N3  
GC: WHY DO YOU 4SK >:?  
TG: hes ignoring me  
TG: i thought maybe he was hurt  
GC: OH  
GC: >:[  
GC: H3S OK4Y 1 TH1NK  
GC: L3T M3 CH3CK W1TH MY F3LLOW TROLL COP

gallowsCalibrator [GC] went idle!

TG: oh okay  
TG: wait who's the other troll cop  
TG: is that the nerd guy karkats always going on about  
TG: the captor guy  
GC: OK4Y 1M B4CK  
GC: 4ND Y34H PROB4BLY  
GC: SOLLUX S4YS H3S 4NGRY 4T YOU  
GC: K4RKL3S TH4T 1S  
GC: "H3'2 B311NG 4N 11D11OT"  
GC: TH4TS WH4T C4PT4IN 4PPL3B3RRY S41D  
TG: okay thanks tz  
GC: 4ND H3Y D4V3?  
TG: yeah  
GC: C4N 1 4SK YOU SOM3TH1NG?  
TG: hit me  
GC: *H1TS*  
TG: fuck im in pain  
TG: that virtual slap has killed me  
TG: somebody call 911 and tell them there's a hot guy dying out here  
TG: im going to need medical attention  
TG: give all my belongings to karkat  
GC: 1LL CRY 4T YOUR M3T4PHOR1C4L FUN3R4L  
GC: >:[  
TG: anyway what were you saying?  
GC: OH Y34H 1 W4NT3D TO 4SK 1F YOU L1K3D K4RKL3S  
TG: well duh  
TG: stealing your man terezi  
GC: OH SHUSH 1 DONT N33D H1M  
TG: yes i like him  
TG: a lot actually  
TG: can you please get him to message me?  
GC: 1V3 B33N TRY1NG TO T4LK TO H1M FOR D4YS  
GC: H3S 1GNOR1NG M3 TOO  
GC: >:[  
TG: can you keep trying?  
TG: (i like your smilies by the way. very ironic)  
GC: OF COURS3 1 W1LL  
GC: (H3H3 TH4NKS)  
GC: BUT YOU H4V3 TO PROM1S3 M3 SOM3TH1NG 1N R3TURN  
TG: anything  
GC: M3SS4G3 M3 MOR3 OFT3N  
GC: 1 M1SS YOU  
GC: P4L3 FOR YOU  
TG: yeah pale for you too

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

* * *

 

Weeks and weeks go by before Karkat even so much thinks about contacting Dave again. He spends the majority of his time studying the politics that he cared so little about before. His dad has encouraged his learning and with the help of his family, Karkat has learnt everything he can about modern politics. And if he's learnt anything, it's that human are ignorant assfucks and he begins to wonder how they've even survived as a race this long. All they seem to do is pick on people for their differences and Karkat slowly begins to harbour a steady hatred for them. As much as his dad assures them that they aren't all that bad, it's only a choice few, he won't believe it. He hates them, all of them- but he still can't manage to really hate Dave.

The rest of his time has been spent with Sollux, who is eager to escape his house now that his brother has come home. Instead of holing up in their rooms with their computers and staying in touch via Pesterchum, Sollux starts staying over at Karkat's constantly. They hole up in Karkat's room together with all the food they can take without it becoming a problem and they barricade the door. It works pretty well until Sollux needs to piss and they realise the problem of locking themselves in. They un-barricade the door but they still stay inside except for when they need bathroom breaks or fresh water. Captor may be able to survive on energy drinks alone but Karkat needs actual sugar-free liquid.

"You're slowly killing yourself with those." Karkat comments, as he watches Sollux down his ninth can in a row during one of their sleepovers. It's probably a good thing that he drinks all that crap actually, since Karkat makes him stay up all night with him. Ever since they saw the videos of the protesting on TV, Karkat has been having nightmares about it if he even closes his eyes for more than half a second. They're horrible bloody nightmares with beatings and screaming and he wakes up yelling every time, normally with Sollux or Kankri frantically shaking him awake.

His older brother Kankri has been having nightmares ever since he was about five sweeps so he knows how to deal with them and he helps Karkat through them without even asking. Normally, Sollux just sits and watches as Kankri holds his little brother and soothes him and stops him screaming. It's more than a little awkward to explain. The first time that Karkat tried to explain, Sollux just stops him and shooshes him. Now, they try and stay up together instead of sleeping.

"Technically, we're thlowly killing ourthelveth with oxygen." Sollux says, "It'th thlowly burning uth up from inthide. If we made it to a hundred thweepth, we'd catch fire from the inthide and end up looking like thomething my dad cooked. By that I mean horribly burned beyond recognition." It's true that the Psiioniic can't cook for shit and Karkat knows because he's been over for dinner before and eating that food is like eating rocks.

"How is your dad?" Karkat asks curiously, "Does he know you're over here?"

"Oh, he knowth." Sollux looks bitter, "He jutht doethn't care. He'th too buthy looking after Mituna to even give a fuck about what I'm doing."

"That's such bullshit, he totally cares. You just don't know it because you're pissed off at him."

"Well, I'd thay the thame about you and your human matethprit." The smug expression on Sollux's face really pisses him off, like he's been waiting for a chance to say that. He's constantly on Karkat about it now, trying to poke and prod him back into talking to Dave again. Apparently, Karkat's a lot grouchier when he isn't talking to him and Sollux is almost convinced that the human liked him. Karkat thinks this is because his best friend hacked and read some of his logs but he lets it slide because he knows that he's only trying to be a good friend.

"Fuck off!"

"Talk about thenthitive. Jeezth, KK, what did he even thay to you?"

"I said fuck off!" Of course, Karkat has realised by this point that he's overreacting a little to Dave's comment. After all, Dave did seem genuinely concerned about his well being... but the fact he thought trolls were the ones hurting humans... It makes Karkat to shudder thinking about it. He doesn't know why humans force the stereotype that trolls are stupid and violent like animals, when in reality they're just as smart and friendly as most humans. They could even be smarter but they don't get a proper education.

"Humans are idiots."

"Okay, but do you hate humanth or do you hate Dave?" Sollux raises an eyebrow at him and for a moment, Karkat has to consider it. What Dave said was pretty stupid but he doesn't really hate him for it, he doesn't think. He just hates the fact that humans beat trolls up on live television but somehow Dave thinks it was the other way around.

".... Both."

"Honethtly?"

"Humans." Karkat admitted with a shrug, "Dave just said something and I..."

"Can I thee what he thaid?"

There's a long pause as Karkat thinks this over and doesn't see why not- if he doesn't show Sollux, the asshole will just hack his computer and read it anyway- before he heads over to his computer for the first time in a long time and loads up his logs. He looks for the correct one and opens it, before allowing Sollux to take his seat at the computer. The psionic peers at it for a moment, frowning as he reads, and then looks back to Karkat.

"You're angry becauthe he wath concerned about you?"

"No." Karkat rolled his eyes, "This bit, about me being beat up by trolls. About trolls being violent." He points and his best friend squints at it, his frown deepening with slight confusion. Then, he turns to Karkat and offers him an expression of disbelief. Immediately, Karkat feels incredibly stupid, just from receiving that look.

"And you've ignored him for weekth becauthe of that?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"Fuck no!" Sollux snorts, "Trutht me, KK, thith guy theemth to really, really like you. You talk to him every thingle day of your pathetic excuthe for a life!! You can't jutht blow him off becauthe he made on thtupid remark. Meththage him, explain why you were upthet and get the fuck over it. Eridan thayth dumb thhit all the time but when I call him out on it, he apologitheth. Thometimeth people jutht don't realithe they thaid the wrong thing."

"But Sollux, he doesn't know I'm a troll."

"YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING WITH ME?!" Sollux barks, "You didn't tell him you were a troll. You mithled thith poor human boy? You told him you were a gorgeouth dark haired, green eyed human, didn't you?"

"I already feel terrible about it, thanks. When we met on the forums, my profile said human so he presumed I was a human. He treated me like a proper being, Sollux, he didn't say anything horrible. I couldn't tell him, he would have destroyed me."

"Did he dethtroy Terezi?" He raises both eyebrows at him. Karkat shifts uncomfortably.

"Well... No..."

"What maketh you think he'll treat you differently?"

"I lied to him, Sollux!! He'll hate me!!"

"... He might thtruggle with it, at firtht." Sollux admitted, "But judging by what he thaid, he'll get over it. If he really loveth you like he thaid here..." He points at the one line of text that makes Karkat's bloodpusher throb hard in his chest.

"He's never said that before."

"Do you like him, KK?"

"Yes." He's sure of it.

"Do you love him, KK?"

"I think so." Nobody has ever made him heart leap into his throat the way Dave has. Nobody has ever made Karkat feel so warm and fuzzy- like how he feels when he watches an especially good romantic comedy and he feels all happy and content snuggled under a blanket. Nobody has ever made him feel nervous and question every single word he's saying before he says it. He's never been so afraid that he'll disappoint somebody before. And he thinks it might be because he loves him. Fuck, he misses him.

"Okay. Tho here'th the plan. When he cometh online, we're going to video call him."

"WHAT?!"

"KK, trutht me. It'th what they would do in a rom-com."

He can't argue with that kind of logic.

All they have to do now is sit around and wait for Dave to call. First, they're both sat at the computer and staring at the dot next to his name, willing it to turn from red to green. After a full of chatting and staring at the screen intently, with no change, they begin to get bored and Sollux puts one of his crappy nerdy movies on. It doesn't even have a dramatic love triangle and Karkat struggles to watch it. But still, they laze around and wait. Sollux is the only one paying any attention to the movie and Karkat is more focused on waiting.

Eventually, after Karkat has checked for the millionth time, he sees that Dave is finally online. He smacks Sollux furiously on the arm where he's fallen asleep against Karkat's shoulder waiting, his mouth open as he drools in his sleep. Abruptly, Sollux jolts awake again and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. When he sees that Dave's online, he nods encouragingly and slowly, Karkat sets up a video call. And he glances at himself in the camera and checks his hair and his fangs to make sure he's presentable.

"Sollux...."

"Do it!" Hesitantly, Karkat clicks on the call button and then he sits back.

"Proud of you, KK."

"Fuck off."

The call rings for a worryingly long time before Dave answers and suddenly, they have a glitchy teenage boy on the screen. Dave is the most gorgeous human Karkat thinks he's ever seen- he hasn't seen very many but still!- even if he does look like a total douchebag and he's wearing sunglasses. He's got this beautiful dark skin that's speckled with freckles and this white-blonde hair. Both of which look like they've been tainted by the sun.

"Holy fuck, you look like a prick." Sollux says, helpfully.

"Karkat?" Dave sounds unsure.

"Nope, Tholluxth. Thith ith KK." Sollux gestures to him, "Thith tiny troll ith the one you've been flirting with for monthth. Have fun having camera thex, I'm gonna go thee what your dad'th making for dinner."

Groaning, Sollux gets up and clicks all his bones back into place. At only fifteen years old, Sollux is somehow already only as flexible as a very old man with back problems. Karkat thinks it's probably because when he's gaming or coding, he half-sits, half-slumps in this awful position that's probably giving him back problems for life. Personally, Karkat tries to sit up straight whenever he can as his older brother has assured him that people that sit up straight grow taller quicker. Apparently, Kankri got this fact off the internet so it's almost certainly true. That idiot will believe anything if he reads it on Tumblr.

As he sits there and stares at Dave, his throat closes up and he isn't sure what to say. His friend stares back at him, peering at him curiously through his stupid aviators. Consciously, Karkat brushes his scruffy hair into place and tries not to look like he's spent the last month locked in his bedroom eating Doritos and wrestling Sollux for his computer. He was too scared to use his own, as if Dave would somehow see him through the screen. Also because messages were popping every five minutes (even now, Terezi is bothering him in the corner of his screen).

"Hey." Dave says, eventually.

"Sorry."

"Yeah."

"I shouldn't have lied to you. It just... Got out of hand."

"Mhm?"

"I didn't think you'd like me if you knew I was a troll."

"What?" Dave sounds horrified, "You fucking idiot. What, you think just because you have those cute horns poking out of your hair that I wouldn't like you?"

"Pretty much, yes. Wait, did you call my fucking horns cute?"

"You idiot. I don't like you because of what you look like. That's why I've been talking to you for months without a single picture. Because I like you, you idiot. I like that you cry over rom-coms; I like that you get pissed at your family but you love them really; I like that you complain about your friends but you still like them; I like that you act all tough but you're a big cutie. I like everything about you and now, I like your fluffy bed hair too."

"... That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me." Karkat says pathetically.

"I'm real romantic in person, right?" Dave waggles his eyebrows.

"You're still the boy that tried to rickroll me."

"Rickrolling is ironically cool."

"It is not. By the way, my horns are not goddamn cute."

"Shush, your head nipples are precious, hun.

"They are not head nipples!"

"They're so nubby. Are troll horns normally that nubby?"

"Oh, fuck off!"

"You're adorable."

"You're..." Gorgeous, "You don't look like a crusty asshole like I was expecting."

"You really know how to romance, don't you?"

"I didn't realise I was meant to be romancing."

"I thee you're getting along." Sollux says brightly, reappearing armed with Mountain Dew, "But you both thtill theem to have your pantth on. How are you going to cyber with your pants on?"

"FUCK OFF, CAPTOR!"

He can hear Dave laughing as he pelts Sollux with empty drinks cans until he leaves again.

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [GC] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: HEY ASSHAT, IT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND  
TG: are you here for the dick pics?  
CG: NO, I DON'T WANT PICTURES OF YOUR TINY BULGE  
TG: youre just presuming that it's tiny  
TG: you have no proof that its tiny  
CG: I'M WILLING TO BET MONEY YOU HAVE A PENCIL DICK  
TG: a pencil dick?  
TG: no way man  
TG: i can assure you my man meat is amazingly thick  
CG: I DIDN'T COME HEAR TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MAN MEAT  
TG: pfftt of course you did  
TG: seriously what did you want hun?  
CG: FIRST OF ALL, PLEASE STOP CALLING ME HUN.  
TG: sure thing sweetiepie  
CG: YOU SOUND LIKE A MIDDLE AGED MOM  
TG: you know it sugarplum  
TG: dave the momma is back in town  
CG: PLEASE STOP  
TG: what did you want?  
CG: DID YOU SEE THAT NEW WILL SMITH MOVIE?  
TG: which one?  
CG: THE ONE I SENT YOU THE TRAILER FOR.  
TG: no  
TG: because unlike you  
TG: i don't have a huge fucking crush on will smith  
CG: PLATONIC CRUSH  
TG: bullshit  
TG: youre replacing me with him aren't you?  
TG: that's what this message is really about isn't it?  
TG: oh god  
TG: i can't believe i didn't match your standards  
TG: im such a disappointment  
TG: if you'll excuse me im going to go have will smiths face tattooed on my face  
CG: OH SHUT UP  
CG: NO  
CG: I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'D WATCH THE MOVIE WITH ME  
TG: oh yeah sure thing just let me pop over  
TG: wait fuck  
TG: i seem to still live five states away  
CG: VERY AMUSING DAVE  
TG: thank you  
CG: SHUT UP, YOU IGNORANT ASSCRACK I'M TALKING  
TG: actually you're writing  
CG: WHY AM I DATING YOU?  
TG: for my hunky man meat  
CG: GET OUT  
CG: ANYWAY, I THOUGHT WE COULD BOTH WATCH THE MOVIE AND TALK WHILE WE WATCHED IT. IT WOULD BE LIKE WE WERE WATCHING IT TOGETHER.  
TG: youre fucking adorable  
TG: you know that?  
CG: SHUT UP, I'M SENDING YOU A VIDEO CALL  
TG: hey karkles  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: i love you  
CG: I LOVE YOU TOO SHITHEAD  
CG: <3  
TG: <3

* * *

By the end of the year, Dave is ready to officially be called Karkat's boyfriend. It's a title that he says he's going to get on a certificate and hang above his bed so he can see it everyday when he wakes up. Even though there's a time difference between where they live, Karkat promises to send him a message every day that reads "CONGRATULATIONS, MOTHERFUCKER, YOUR'RE KARKAT'S BOYFRIEND. NOW, COME SUCK HIS BULGE". Dave thought that was hilarious and laughed so hard that Karkat thought he might have killed him for a second there.

They're crazy happy together, even if Karkat still hates a lot of humans- but only the anti-troll protesters now- and even if Dave doesn't really understand a lot of troll culture and Karkat has to correct him a lot. It does lead to a lot of awkward questions around four in the morning about genitalia that Karkat really doesn't like answering and then a lot of teasing when he can't stop blushing candy red about it ("Aw, you're gettin' all worked up for me, that's fucking adorable. Bring out the sexy lingerie, Karkat's getting a boner" "I am not and you have such a filthy fucking mind!!" "You love it").

One of the only troll things that Dave did fully understand was the rights movement, which he said he'd been following ever since he befriended Terezi. He knew about The Signless leading the movement and about how he lead the peaceful protest- Karkat had told him it was intended to be peaceful and Dave apologised- and was incredibly impressed when Karkat told him that was his dad.

"Are you fucking serious? That's your dad?" They video chat almost every day now and it's almost the same as being in the same room. This particular day Karkat remembers because Dave was sat cross-legged on his bed and was wearing his ironic NASA t-shirt that hung off his frame in a way that made Karkat swoon a little. Not that he would ever admit it (but everybody seemed to know he was horns over heels anyway).

"Yeah, that's my dad. My brother, Kankri, was there too." Karkat said, "I wasn't. I wasn't interested in the rights movement then so I stayed home with Sollux. We just watched it on the TV. It was scary, I was terrified that something bad would happen to us. That's probably why I got mad at you that day. Sorry."

"It's cool, Kitkat, I understand." Dave sighed, "I just can't believe how hard it is for trolls, especially where you live."

"Yeah, we kind of live in the centre of it all." And it was true; the death count of trolls was higher where Karkat lived than anywhere else in the states and he sure knew it. Every single day in the newspaper now, he would flip to the obituary section in the back and look through to see if anybody he knew was in there. He'd been incredibly concerned ever since there was another riot a while back; a riot that involved troll houses being smashed up and people getting beaten in the streets. A few people from school had died- including Aradia- and they had held a funeral around the back of the school and Sollux cried the same way he had when Mituna had gotten his brain damage because he still loved Aradia deep down. Karkat had been there to hold him as he cried.

Mituna and Terezi weren't the only trolls that had suffered serious injuries due to human behaviour and slowly, Signless was filing together a report with the help of Redglare Pyrope. They were working together to get more laws and rights bestowed upon trolls. Miss Disciple- as Karkat was taught to refer to her- was also helping but probably only because she'd take any chance to flirt with Signless. Now, that was kind of gross to watch. Sometimes, Psiioniic came over too and he would do a very good job at bulgeblocking, thank fuck.

Unfortunately, Psiioniic and Sollux still weren't on very good terms and Karkat knew because sometimes they could hear yelling from next door and then loud crashes. He presumed that they were tossing things around with their psionics and just tried to ignore it, hoping that Sollux was okay. His best friend was still forcing the point that his dad was paying much more attention to Mituna than he was to him (but Karkat normally managed to distract him with some crappy games that they could rage and laugh at together). He understood that his friend probably wasn't happy but there again- Sollux never seemed to be very happy. He'd told Karkat before that he had some depression shit going on up in his head but they just couldn't afford the meds.

So, whilst not all things were well in the world of trolls and humans, things were finally beginning to work out. After a while, Karkat even got back into wearing his necklace and this time, he wore it with pride and not just because he wanted to impress his dad. Of course, the first person to comment on it was Kankri, who smacked him on the back and told him that he was proud of him. Unfortunately, he smacked him rather hand and Karkat ended up choking on his dinner (and Dave made several jokes when he was told about it later). But the second to comment on it was Dave:

"Hey, that's one of those necklaces from the protests, right?" He said, shifting on his bed and smiling at Karkat. He leaned forward so that he could peer at it and Karkat puffed out his chest so that he could see it properly.

"You bet your ass it is."

"You're so adorable."

"Shut up."

"But it's true, you're absolutely precious."

"Shut up, you gorgeous idiot."

"That's a compliment, right?"

"Sure. If you want it to be one."

Whenever they aren't chatting via video webcam, they're either on Pesterchum or they're texting each other. It's beginning to frustrate Karkat's friends no end- whenever he's spending time with them, he's got his phone out and is constantly typing. According to Sollux, Karkat gets this expression on his face that they've dubbed "flush fever"- but it makes him grin every time he opens his phone and finds a rambling metaphor from Dave saying that he loves him. He can't believe that for once in his life, one of his crushes actually loves him back and even wants to pail with him one day. That thought makes Karkat blush like a total idiot. God.

So, maybe things aren't all going to fall into place at once like they would in a rom-com, (Karkat was kind of an idiot for thinking that things would but hey, if he was Will Smith, everything would work out. Unfortunately, even if he does wish for it every wriggling day, he'll never be Will Smith. But Dave says that's okay), but slowly things are beginning to fit together like those big colourful jigsaw puzzles that Terezi likes. Maybe Karkat doesn't have a matesprit that he can introduce to his family- Kankri would never approve of anybody that he met over the Internet and Dave lives too far away to be introduced properly- but he does HAVE a matesprit and a great one at that.

Not only that but he thinks he might also be getting himself a moirail. Karkat thinks it's going to be difficult to explain to Dave that Sollux is also kind of his boyfriend but not in the same way. Thankfully, Dave seems to understand since apparently, Terezi is his moirail. Karkat can't believe that he- the romance expert- had never noticed the pale affection there. Fucking incredible that he'd missed that, after all the times the two had talked to him (separately) about the other.

"You see what you guys have done to me? I'm fillin' fuckin' quadrants like I'm a troll or something. This is insanity."

"Oh, shut up, Dave."

"I think you mean "I'm sorry I ruined your life with my weird romance shit"."

"I didn't ruin your life, I improved it and you know it." That made Dave laugh and Karkat always felt so proud when he managed to get his boyfriend to laugh. He felt like he was properly romancing him or something.

* * *

"Why the fuck are you calling at me at five in the morning, Karkat?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. I forgot about the goddamn time difference."

"Yeah, yeah, it's okay. Don't worry about my lack of sleep."

"It's not my fault that you live in satan's asshole."

"Is that how people outside of Texas refer to my state?"

"It's how I refer to your godforsaken state."

"Well, I'm honoured. Anyway, what did you need from me? My virginity?"

"Why do I get the feeling that your mind never strays far from pailing?"

"No, it does, I promise. If I thought about sex all the time, I wouldn't be dating somebody with such a tiny bulge."

"You have no proof whatsoever that it's tiny."

"Captor told me."

"Did he also tell you that he had two bulges?"

"Yep."

"Lying son of a bitch."

"How does he even piss with two dicks?"

"This isn't why I called you. I don't want to talk about Captor's bulge... Bulges... Whatever."

"What's up?"

"I told you, Dave. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"No?"

"Not this time."

"Well, isn't that just a goddamn fucking miracle."

"Fuck, you sound like Makara."

"Your stoner friend?"

"Yes."

"That's what I was going for."

"Dave."

"Karkat."

"Yes?"

"Listen, are you sure you're okay?"

"Mhm."

"Karkat?"

"I just wish you were here."

"Does you wish my sexy body was also there?"

"Definitely. Your dorky little body."

"You're an asshole."

"But you love me anyway?"

"Of course."

"Flushed for you." 

"Flushed for you." 


End file.
